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Putting yourself out there and the vulnerability hangover


Putting yourself out there is hard. So is asking for help. We are conditioned not to do these things and just to 'carry on regardless' but sometimes, that is absolutely the wrong thing to do.


If we are struggling why wouldn't we ask for help? Well we can think it makes us seem weak and incapable, like we are 'letting the mask slip' and that others will look down on us for it.


Firstly, who are these others and why do we care about their opinions?


Secondly, asking for help is smart. It shows that we know we can't do it all ourselves and are willing to let someone else with different knowledge, skills and experience in. I'm not a painter, a baker or great at getting the weeds up so I'm happy to defer to others in these areas and I'm sure you are too. So why is it so difficult to ask for help when it comes to finding a new role?


Well I think partly because we think that we 'should' be able to this ourselves. We 'should' know how to do this but who says so? Surely it's better to ask for help than spend months looking for work and getting frustrated? I always advise clients to go out to their former colleagues and network first when they need a new role but this makes them feel on edge as they don't want people to know that they are out of work and feel that there is shame attached to this. I ask them to get past this as this can be the best way to get a new role. Who better to recommend you than people who know how you work?